Wild Kingdom

Grrrr! I Hate Rats!

Wild Kingdom. Right in my own back yard.

This morning we noticed that our dog, Boomer, was acting a bit crazy. First, he began circling one of the trees in our back yard. Then, he began to stalk something, standing perfectly still…wait for it…wait for it… And finally, the chase! After disappearing for a few moments behind some bushes in our backyard, he proudly reappeared carrying a…BIG FAT DEAD RAT. Ugh!

We enjoy lots of critters that live in our neighborhood… Raccoons, bats, skunks, hawks, owls, lots of different kinds of birds, and even a snake. In the past, it was not unusual to see a rat running along the top of our fence or across the powerlines behind our yard. (Those rats are amazing tight rope artists!) I shuddered each time. I just couldn’t get used to those vermin, and I don’t like them one bit. We’ve been relieved, as of late, to realize that the rat population seems to have all but vanished.

We assumed that maybe the rats had made a tasty meal for the snake that makes its appearance every now and then in our yard. We also have several owls that make their homes in the tall trees that surround our property. Late at night, when it’s very quiet, you can hear them calling. Or, we thought, perhaps our resident hawks had made the difference.

Perhaps so, but it turns out that Boomer has been earning his keep, too. As much as I hate the idea of my very domesticated Golden Retriever/Cocker Spaniel mutt mixing it up with the rats, I am glad that there is one less rat in the world.

Boomer, it’s a jungle out there. Now, go get ‘im!

Boomer Is Back!

Did you say, “Doggie Treat”?

This is our dog, Boomer. While we were away on vacation, Boomer stayed with my parents. Recently, they were kind enough to bring Boomer back to us. As it turns out, Boomer experienced his own little doggie vacation with Grandma and Grandpa. Sort of like an extended visit to Doggie Disneyland, I suppose.  In fact, I suspect that the harsh reality of life back here at home could come as a complete shock to his canine sensibilities. You see, a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house is like dying and going to doggie heaven. Here’s why:

According to Grandma, Boomer must be tired of that “old dry dog food”. So, during his time wtih her, she decided to completely switch him over to wet (canned) dog food. Now that he is home, I expect several days of persnickety food snobbery before Boomer finally resigns himself to that “old dry dog food” again. Sorry, Mighty Dog.

Grandma found it her duty to caninity (according to dictionary.com, that really is a word!) to offer Boomer mass quantities of doggie treats each and every day. She even planned ahead and purchased extra treats for Boomer’s homecoming. Said doggie biscuits are now sitting on a shelf in my laundry room. I suppose I’ll have to use them up. Feed them to him over time to help him slowly break the addiction. Sort of like a doggie treat detox program.

Grandpa took Boomer for a walk almost every day. That’s a tough act to follow. We take Boomer out when we can, but Grandpa is retired. He’s got plenty of time. Ok, Ok, we’ll make more of an effort. We could use the exercise, too.

Speaking of Grandpa, Boomer became extremely attached to him. He followed Grandpa from room to room inside the house and refused to leave his side while Grandpa worked in the yard. Poor Boomer whimpered and whined when Grandpa left the day after he brought Boomer back home. Don’t worry, Boomer. We’ll visit soon, I promise.

Grandma likes ice-cream. In summer, she is in the habit of sitting outside most evenings enjoying the cool breeze and indulging herself in frozen sweetness. Well, Boomer decided he wanted some of that frozen sweetness, too. Grandma obliged by allowing Boomer to snarf (hey! Dictionary.com says that’s a word, too!) down the last bite. The truth is, Grandma simply cannot say no to Boomer’s pleading. Her will-power all but vanishes in the face of Boomer’s manipulatory “Please feed me ice-cream, I’m starving” look. She is no match for His Highness, King Beggar Extraordinaire. It’s a miracle Boomer didn’t come back weighing a hundred pounds!

During his stay at The Pooch Paradise Inn, Grandma granted Boomer the privilege of sleeping on her bed. At home, there is a zero tolerance policy against dogs on beds. It is strictly forbidden and unequivocally enforced. Most of the time.

The couch is off limits at home, too. But, at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, not only was Boomer permitted to nap on the couch, he was granted full access to the remote control. Boomer watched Animal Planet twenty-four hours a day. Ok, so I’m exaggerating a bit. He was not really given remote control privileges. And, he didn’t really watch Animal Planet. Boomer prefers ”The Dog Whisperer” instead. 

At Grandma and Grandpa’s house there are squirrels to hunt. The next door Auntie has a cat to torment. And chickens. At home, there are only gophers to chase, but sadly, there’s only so far a dog can wriggle down a gopher hole. Not that Boomer doesn’t try, mind you.

At Grandma and Grandpa’s, table scraps are plentiful, handed out openly and without shame. At home, table scraps are a clandestine, under the tablecloth affair. Hey, my house, my rules! 

As an antidote to hot summer temperatures, Grandma periodically dumped ice cubes into Boomer’s water. Who would have guessed that Boomer prefers to imbibe his H20 at a cool and refreshing 38 degrees? Thankfully, she did stop short of buying him Perrier.

So, yes, Boomer is completely and thoroughly spoiled rotten. It’s Doggie Rehab for him, no doubt.

Ah, poor Boomer!

Don’t feel sad, Boomer. I know just the thing. A doggie treat! And guess what? I just happen to have some…