Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are big news.
I have heard these names before, but it’s always been a mystery to me exactly who these people are. And, how did they get so rich? Lot’s of people borrow money from them, right? Also, if I assume that “Mae” and “Mac” are middle names, then what are their last names? Why is this important information not released to the public? And what, exactly, is Fannie and Freddie’s relationship to one another? Are they sister and brother? Twins? Or, just friends? Well, I’ll tell you what I think. I think they’re married. That’s right, married. And, if that’s true, one can easily deduce two things. First, judging by all the recent publicity, Fannie and Freddie’s marriage must be in some serious trouble. Second, they must be extremely important people because no less than the U.S. government itself is promising to “prop” them up.
Far be it from me to start a rumor, but is it possible that Fannie and Freddie’s marital difficulties stem from financial problems? Could it be that they skipped the money part of their pre-marital counseling sessions only to become reckless spenders, compulsive shoppers, and silly squanderers? I mean, think about it. I recently read that the U.S. Department of the Treasury has announced that should Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac run a little short on cash, the Feds would bail them out. Well, wait a minute! I could use a little extra spending capital. Why doesn’t the government send a few of those American Green Backs my way? Oops! I forgot. They already did. It was called the stimulus package. Anyway…
And, what about those names? If I had to guess, I’d say that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are from the Midwest somewhere. In fact, they could very well be my kinfolk. To prove it, here’s a short list of some of my relatives’ names. See if Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac don’t just fit right in.
Let’s see, there’s…
Rafe Everett (We just call him “R.E.”)
Georgia May
Neddie Richard
Louie Frank
Aunt Myrtle
Uncle Flavus
Connie Louie (my dad’s name!)
Essie
Ozine
Emma Kay
And we can’t forget…
Selma Ruthema
Ollie Pearl
Eltha Giva
So, if the Feds are bound and determined to kick down a few bucks here and there, so be it. I just hope that Aunt Fannie and Uncle Freddie are willing to share their new-found, U.S. government backed wealth with one of their long lost relatives, me!
Yup. Blood’s thicker than a mortgage crisis, that’s what I always say.
Posted by teeveebee 
